Here I sit on Christmas Eve night reflecting on the reason for the season. We all read the story in Luke every year and celebrate the birth of our Savior. He is certainly the center of attention this time of year – rightfully so, but as I listened to our pastor speak this evening about the arrival of the Messiah I began to think about Mary. We all know the basics of the story. She was a virgin whom God chose due to her unyielding faith. I dig a little deeper, though. You have a young woman- given the cultural norms of that time probably 13-14 years old. She was engaged to be married to Joseph, the carpenter. Mary was from a humble family from nowhere significant. I can imagine that she had her whole life planned out. She would marry Joseph, raise a couple of babies, and serve the Lord. Little did she know that God had much bigger plans.
When Gabriel came to her, she was confused and obviously frightened, but when he assured her that he had been sent by God she was quick to listen. Can you imagine what she must have felt when she heard the message? She had a few questions to which Gabriel basically replied “The Holy Spirit is going to miraculously conceive in you. Don’t worry! God’s got this…. He has a plan!”. This is where it starts to hit me. She says, “I am the Lord’s servant, may your word to me be fulfilled.”. She didn’t say “I’m not sure.” Or “Let me think about this for a while.”. She just said yes without hesitation. She agreed without considering what others might think or how it might affect her engagement to Joseph. She so blindly trusted God’s plan for her even though it would mean having to face judgement and potentially changing her entire life plan. I want to have faith like Mary.
This is where I find myself today. If you’ve read my previous posts from this last year you can see how long I’ve been struggling with this. God gave me clear instructions to start this blog over a year ago. For what reason? I really don’t know. Actually- that’s not even completely true. I do know that God has a plan for me. To use my story, my brutal honesty, my transparency to reach others. He’s promised to use my journey for His glory. Even with His promise why is it so hard to just say yes and do it? My fear of being 100% transparent about all my flaws to not just my close friends and family but to an internet full of people looking to tear you apart at the first opportunity. I am putting this in God’s hands. I hope you are all enjoying this season of celebration with your loved ones. I will see you all in 2019!!